My best friend is suddenly getting married..a true friend will be happy for her isn't it? A true friend will stay by her side no matter what happens.
But in my case I think I am not a good friend since I have trouble feeling happy for her. Or is it I am happy for her but I can't believe she's getting married. Just months before, she told me she won't get married in 2 years since there's a lot of stuff she has gotta do. But 2 months ago she decided to get engaged to a high school friend. And she's getting married in 6 months.
As a friend I am shocked and I can't accept it. I tried to avoid her and try to live by myself. Be independent since she will have a commitment and somebodyelse's shoulder to lean on. But she didn't understand my feelings my need to detach myself emotionally and stand on my own two feet before her big day. I need to prepare myself to live alone since we did everything together since undergraduate. I need to be strong to deal with single life alone.
I told her once she is married everything will be different. The way she'll treat me will be different. We won't be able to have the same relationship again. Well what do you know. I don't have to wait until she gets married. Even when she's just engaged, she has changed. This plus me still not able to accept her decision and we're living in the same house leads to a silent war.
At this rate maybe I will just mail her wedding present.
But in my case I think I am not a good friend since I have trouble feeling happy for her. Or is it I am happy for her but I can't believe she's getting married. Just months before, she told me she won't get married in 2 years since there's a lot of stuff she has gotta do. But 2 months ago she decided to get engaged to a high school friend. And she's getting married in 6 months.
As a friend I am shocked and I can't accept it. I tried to avoid her and try to live by myself. Be independent since she will have a commitment and somebodyelse's shoulder to lean on. But she didn't understand my feelings my need to detach myself emotionally and stand on my own two feet before her big day. I need to prepare myself to live alone since we did everything together since undergraduate. I need to be strong to deal with single life alone.
I told her once she is married everything will be different. The way she'll treat me will be different. We won't be able to have the same relationship again. Well what do you know. I don't have to wait until she gets married. Even when she's just engaged, she has changed. This plus me still not able to accept her decision and we're living in the same house leads to a silent war.
At this rate maybe I will just mail her wedding present.
You should accept your friend and give yourself and her time to rebuild your friendship. It will not be the "same", but what ever stays the "same"? The world is always changing. Maybe you will find out that you do not have things in common any more and that you cannot be best friends.
ReplyDeleteBut maybe... you will like who she becomes even more! You cannot judge her for what she might become, because... you don't know what it is! Definitely, go to the wedding, show your love and acceptance, and she will love you even more! ^_^
Thank you for your kind advise. I'll keep it in mind. :)
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